Equanimity and Collaboration (Repost)
When I first began meditating, one of the early terms I encountered was equanimity. It’s a term, I discovered, that is rooted in philosophy as well as many of the world’s major religions. Equanimity, as defined by Merriam-Webster means “evenness of mind especially under stress”, It’s a simple definition that, for me, doesn’t capture the true meaning of the concept.
Equanimity is about having the chaos of the world unfold around you without affecting you. The traditional yoga metaphor for equanimity is the mountain, standing unmovable despite the wind and snow, sun and rain happening to it and all around it. I have read that equanimity in the modern world has another name: resilience.
What equanimity allows us to do is be the master of our own responses; to respond in any situation in a way that suits us. It moves us from knee-jerk reaction driven by emotion towards a calm and considered response. In his book Thinking Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman describes two modes of thought: a fast, emotionally driven, unconscious mode called System 1 (i.e., gut-reaction) and a slower, logical, calculating, conscious mode called System 2 (i.e., critical thinking). As Kahneman describes, System 1 is always engaged and it affects every decision we make, while System 2 is selective used to modify what System 1 has already decided. We don’t expend the effort and energy to engage System 2.
Practicing equanimity is a call to use our System 2 mode of thinking more, to pay attention and be conscious of how we are responding to people, conversation, situations, and the world around us.
Equanimity and Collaboration
When we collaborate, we are working with a diverse group of people with the express intent of exploring complex problems and creating innovative, new solutions to those problems. Knowing that we are prone to make rapid judgements using System 1, it strikes me that equanimity is a practice we can bring into the collaboration space as a way to take in all of the information we are hearing and then thinking critically about what works and what can be adapted for the problem at hand. After all, that’s the fundamental purpose of collaboration.
So, how then do we build equanimity into collaborative practice without having everyone on yoga mats in downward-facing dog? A couple of thoughts:
Ask better questions
When we shift from a responding mode to an inquiry mode of thinking, we automatically take more time to think about what we are hearing. In other words, we engage System 2. I sometimes like to think about this approach as becoming an investigative reporter, trying to get to the bottom of a person’s perspective so that I can understand all the different aspects of what they think and why. It is important to note that you don’t have to agree with the thinking or their rationale to effectively ‘uncover’ these details. And, in a collaborative setting, the added benefit of this approach is that the person you are speaking to will feel they are being heard and appreciated.
Look for Value
Among the details you learn through better questions will be something that has merit in the eyes of the person you are speaking to, and perhaps merit in your view as well. Look for and identify the things the person assigns value to; it may be their thinking, their feelings, or their actions. Looking for value helps us pick out something important that a collaborative solution might need to address, and it helps us ask better questions. If we can let people know the value we see in their thinking, feelings, and actions, even if we are don’t agree with them, then the people we are collaborating with will again feel heard and appreciated. It also puts us squarely into System 2 thinking and the practice of equanimity.
Encourage equanimity in others
When designing a collaborative session, it’s important to set it up in a manner that encourages people to engage their critical thinking skills and not be too reactive. Most good facilitators will do this as part of their general practice, but anyone who collaborates should recognize the benefits of moving from unthinking, argumentative responses to a more considered approach. I’ve even asked people outright about what merits they see in something that is being discussed.
Perhaps these few thoughts about building equanimity into our collaborative practice are helpful to you. As always, if you have thoughts to share or have a different view, please leave a comment.
Happy collaborating!
Scott Millar, through Collaboration Dynamics, often works as a "peacemaker" by gathering people with different experiences and values and helping them navigate beyond their differences to tackle complex problems together. As the host of the Cool Collaborations podcast where he explores fun stories and insights of successful collaboration with guests from around the world, and then dives into what made them work. Cool Collaborations is currently available on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, and Spotify.
