Why is it so unfair?
In a recent discussion with friends, we were sharing thoughts on the latest round of COVID-19 restrictions coming as a result of a resurgence in cases of the virus. The conversation centered on how smaller business and certain groups (structured sports groups) seemed disproportionately affected by the restrictions. In other words, the new restrictions were seen as unfair. Our conversation got me remembering and thinking about the concept of fairness.
While we all have a sense of what is fair and unfair, it wasn’t until I read the book Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss that I began to understand how our ingrained sense of fairness can shape our interactions with other people. In the book, Voss explains fairness from his perspective as a top-tier hostage negotiator.
The idea of fairness is interesting to contemplate, because we all have an innate sense of what is fair and unfair. Being fair is marked by impartiality and honesty: free from self-interest, prejudice, or favouritism, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary.
Fairness isn’t a handout. Fairness is the willingness to offer dignity to others. The dignity of being seen and heard, and having a chance to make a contribution. Seth Godin
At its core, it’s about equity and reasonableness. But the definition doesn’t describe how every person’s sense of fairness is unique to them as an individual. And it doesn’t say that we only need to imagine or observe the unfair treatment, behaviour, favouritism or discrimination to have a response.
What happens in the brain?
So, what exactly happens when we receive fair or unfair treatment? Golnaz Tabibnia and Matthew Lieberman used neuroimaging and a game called Ultimatum to study our reactions to fair and unfair treatments. In the game, one player makes an anonymous offer to share a portion of a sum of money with another person. Typically, low offers of about 20-30% of the total) were often seen as unfair and were rejected, even though the recipient of the offer would still have been better off than when they started.
The neuroimaging portion of the study showed that when people were offered what they considered a fair offer, the reward centers of the brain would light up. These reward centers are often associated with associated with automatic, intuitive reactions, as opposed to considered or learned responses. In contrast, unfair offers lit up areas of the brain associated with contempt or disgust (think bad smells).
It doesn’t need to be real
In Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss describes how fairness is sometimes used in a negotiation context as a tactic to unsettle your counterpart; as a so-called “f-bomb”. When used this way, it only takes an accusation of unfairness to prompts an emotional response. Actual fairness may not even be at play, because we respond emotionally even if we are only accused of being unfair.
Voss goes on to describe how fairness can be used proactively to create a collaborative environment by using fairness as a kind of benchmark before starting a negotiation. You might suggest at the outset of your interaction that you want to be fair and are willing to adjust if being seen as unfair.
It doesn’t need to be you
The effect of fairness is so strong in humans that our fairness/unfairness emotional response can be triggered when someone else is being treated unfairly. It can be as simple as seeing an injustice, such as a person being penalized for something they didn’t do, to something sweeping and powerful such as movements, rallies, and even war.
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With such strong human emotional reactions to perceptions of fairness and unfairness, knowing it can be triggered as easily as simply accusing someone of being unfair, it is incredibly important to remain vigilant for information that is designed to inflame our sense of unfairness to achieve a certain objective.
Collaboration is an antidote to the fairness/unfairness trigger, because it is meant to be inclusive from start to finish, and responsive to those who collaborate. It brings together people and allows them to design their process, see everyone’s issues and input, and shape what happens based on their involvement.
Happy Collaborating!
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Tabibnia, G. & Lieberman, M. D. (2007). Fairness and cooperation are rewarding: Evidence from social cognitive neuroscience. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1118, 90-101.
Scott Millar often works as a "peacemaker" by gathering people with different experiences and values and helping them navigate beyond their differences to tackle complex problems together. Through Collaboration Dynamics, he offers a program in High Performance Collaboration, where he guides groups to explore the nature of collaboration, inclusivity, and innovation, and acquire new abilities to create the conditions that enable groups to contribute and thrive in challenging environments.
Scott is also the host of the Cool Collaborations podcast where he explores fun stories and insights of successful collaboration with guests from around the world, and then dives into what made them work. Cool Collaborations is currently available on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, and Spotify.
